Guinness’s wildest sex world records from ‘loudest penis’ to largest condom --[Reported by Umva mag]

Everyone likes to think they’re in the know when it comes to sex, but there is so much more to it than missionary, STIs and the occasional fetish.

From penises and condoms to kissing and breast enhancements — it turns out there’s a world record for just about everything when it comes to the bedroom.

Did you know there’s a world record for the loudest penis? Yes, you read that right, and no, we didn’t know either.

Thanks to Guinness World Records, we’ve got the low down on the spiciest achievements.

So, without further ado, here are 10 of the wildest sex world records out there…

Largest collection of condoms

The largest collection of condoms is made up of 2,077 different types.

You can never be too safe and wearing protection when sleeping with a partner is always the best option if you aren’t looking to get pregnant or catch an STI.

But Amatore Bolzoni seems to have spent more time holding onto condoms than using them. The Italian’s world record-setting collection began 40 years ago and today contains condoms from across the globe.

Amatore was awarded the title in 2004, but according to the podcast For Keeps, he died in 2007. His son, Massimo, reportedly keeps his father’s memory alive by preserving the collection, and even adding to it.

The oldest condom in the collection dates back to the the 1800s and is made from a sheep’s bowel — ew.

Nowadays, condoms are made from latex and we’re very grateful for that.

The loudest penis

The loudest penis belongs to a tiny freshwater insect.

The aquatic insect Micronecta Scholtzi is two millimetres long, and when it rubs its micro penis against its abdomen, it creates a chirping noise.

This noise can reach up to 99.2 decibels, which is apparently equivalent to sitting in the front row of an orchestral concert.

This rubbing process is called stridulation and it’s intended to attract a mate.

The most expensive breast enhancers

The most expensive breast enhancers sold at auction belonged to Marilyn Monroe.

The iconic American model’s flesh coloured foam and cotton bra pads sold for$5,000.

That’s £3958.55, which seems like an awful lot of money for some old chicken fillets. Then again, she was an incredible woman.

The sale took place in Bedford, New Hampshire, on April 15, 2000.

We think we’ll stick to our trusty H&M push up bras, though.

Most frequent sex

The most frequent sex record is more than 50 times in three to four hours.

This title is not held by a human – it belongs to the male scaly cricket, Ornebius Aperta.

The Australian creepy-crawly can have sex this many times in this timescale, all with the same female cricket.

It’s not romantic though. Every time a male mates, sperm is placed on the female which she then eats.

Chimpanzees are also speedy lovers, with females having sex with eight different males in just 15 minutes — talk about a quickie.

Most couples kissing simultaneously

The most couples kissing at one time was 13,577 pairs, meaning 27,154 people were kissing at once.

This record was set on May 17, 2014, where the couples gathered at Carnival in Sao Paulo, Brazil, to make out with each other.

If you thought couples kissing on the Tube was awkward, this is literally the world’s largest PDA ever. Yikes.

Carnival is Brazil’s main celebration and earned the distinction of The Greatest Show on Earth.

The largest condom

The largest condom measures a staggering 72ft long.

It obviously was never intended for actual use, after all no matter how big you think you are, no one has a penis that large — not even a blue whale.

The 21.9 metre long condom was fitted over the Obelisque in Paris on December 1, 1993 to mark World AIDS Day.

The project was funded by popular Italian clothing brand Benetton.

World AIDS Day has been running since 1988 to show solidarity against HIV stigma and to remember the 35 million who have died from HIV or AIDS related illnesses. More than 105,000 people are currently living with HIV in the UK.

The oldest penis

The oldest penis dates back about 100 million years.

The fossilised phallus belongs to an ostracod (a crustacean) and it was discovered in Brazil in September 2002.

Unfortunately for the crustacean, the penis measured just one millimetre. Ostracods are otherwise known as sea shrimp and they inhabit pretty much all aquatic environments on earth.

On the other end of the spectrum, the blue whale gets an honorable mention for the longest penis.

The whales’ privates measure up to eight feet in length.

Greatest height difference between a married couple

The greatest height difference between a married couple is two feet and 9.44 inches.

This gap in height in a same sex married couple has been considered a record since July 30, 2022.

Christie Chandler and Senecca Corsetti from St George, Utah, US, met while teaching at the same school together.

Christie is five feet 11.74 inches tall, while Senecca is three feet 2.29 inches tall.

The oldest person to give birth

The oldest woman to give birth was 66 years old.

Maria del Carmen Bousada Lara from Barcelona, Spain, was born on January 5, 1940.

She gave birth to her twin boys via C-section at the age of 66 after receiving IVF treatment in America, having initially been rejected for treatment in Spain.

Her boys, Christian and Pau, were born at Sant Pau Hospital on December 29, 2006.

Sadly Maria died on July 11, 2009 after being diagnosed with cancer.

The oldest person to give birth to a grandchild

The oldest woman to give birth to their own grandchildren was 56 years old.

Jacilyn Dalenberg was a surrogate for her daughter Kim Coseno who wanted children and couldn’t carry.

The grandmother-to-be ended up carrying and delivering triplets.

The three baby girls were born via C-section at Hillcrest Hospital in Cleveland, Ohio, on October 11, 2008.

This article was originally published on 7 February, 2024.

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